The Darcy-Bingley Theorem

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that if you have read Austen’s Pride and Prejudice (and particularly if you have watched the BBC Firth starring adaptation), that every woman wants a Darcy. Bingley is cute and all, but when push comes to shove – where was the fight when he was torn apart from his apparent ‘beloved’ Jane? Where was the declaration of admiration? Nope, no one wants a Bingley.

However, having had this conversation with my friends a few times lately, we have come to the conclusion that unfortunately a lot of the time, that is exactly what most of us end up with.

Personally, I think it’s because many women (myself included and as much as it pains me to say it) – resemble more accurately, Jane herself – mild mannered, easy to please, enamoured with the notion of fairytale romance and spending their lives with that one ‘special’ person. When they find this apparent ‘one’, who, more often than not is simply the first person willing to settle down and entertain this notion, then they think that’s it – deal done – signed, sealed and delivered.

And that’s where the wheat gets separated from the chaff in this case. If you really want a Darcy, you need to want that tempestuous relationship. You need to want that ‘I’ll spend all day ignoring you but then kiss you so hard when we get home tonight’ type scenario – and by wanting that, that is where you transition to becoming the leading lady herself.

Now I’m not saying that ending up with a Bingley is necessarily a bad thing – they’re kind, considerate, caring – you know you can depend on them, indeed there’s nothing to say that the love you feel for a Bingley and the love you get from one isn’t just as strong as that where a Darcy is concerned. In truth, its ability to withstand the test of time, may in fact be even stronger.

Me? As tempting as it is to go for that 'dependable', 'Don't you worry, I'll provide whatever it is you need', 'English breakfast tea - milk and two sugars' kinda man, I just can't being myself to do it. I've been presented with the chance to on more than one occasion recently, but no. Somewhere deep inside me is a little Lizzy - a little flame that burns that means I want the downs along with the ups - the downs that make the highs euphoric. I want intoxication. And that, is why I am willing to wait. That my friends, if you really want a Darcy, is why I would advise you to be less 'Lydia' and to do the same.

Sarah x